Friday, April 9, 2010

Un-Birthday

I came here to think
but in the frigid foam and blue
my first thought was
this ocean is cold as hell

icy waves massage the shore
their painless slaps and
rhythmic retreats
remind me of time passing

sometimes all it takes
is a fleeting glance
imagining a mop of sandy hair
probably green eyes

sad, relentless memories
hand fed by
voyeured soccer matches
and piano recitals

any given month
it’s always you
everywhere
moving as I’m watching

I stare and imagine
what if
until it’s too excruciating
to wonder any more

then wonder again
was it foolish
to have chosen
your name?

careless
to visualize
eighteen candles
that never were?

so happy un-birthday
my interrupted angel
always right there
watching over me

~ J. D. Mackenzie

(inspired by napowrimo prompt #10 celebrate any of these: a birthday, wedding, baptism — any kind of celebration)

7 comments:

  1. I like, "icy waves massage the shore."

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  2. Emptiness images throughout perfectly capture the void. well done.

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  3. JDM,
    Love it!
    "I stare and imagine
    what if
    until it's too excruciating
    to wonder anymore"
    Pamela

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  4. This was a wonderful and warm piece, and if, as I suspect, this is a reflection on the loss of a child -- you have my deepest abiding sympathy. I lost my oldest son at age 18, and "sometimes all it takes is a fleeting glance" and I still can fall deep into sadness -- and Aaron has been gone since 1995. Good writing...
    ...rob

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  5. So sorry for your loss...

    Beautiful, moving work.

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  6. from Therese Broderick -- I, too, am sending deepest sympathies to you if this poem is true to your life. If yes, what unimaginable pain. These lines pierced me to the quick--
    sad, relentless memories
    hand fed by
    voyeured soccer matches
    and piano recitals

    Thank you for the courage and love it took to share this.

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  7. Beautiful and so heart wrenching JDM.

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