Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Trevor's Epiphany

My young poet friend
is love-struck and high
he wants to tell me
about his new girlfriend:

Dude, he starts to say
because at twenty
everyone is Dude or Babe
except for his parents

he tells me
his new girlfriend is smoking hot
kind of short, like an Epigram
but built like a vigorous Epic

She’s direct as a Cinquain
with a wicked sense of Senryu humor
very old school, Alexandrine kind of class
and not one Cacophonous bone in her body

When they’re alone
she’s as bawdy as a barroom Limerick
yet sensitive and surreal
as a Spenserian sonnet

Their days together
are post-modern Idylls
and like a Canzone
her voice fills his heart with song

Nice to know
in a world that doesn’t get poets
they found each other
she totally gets him

~ J. D. Mackenzie

[Inspired by Rallentanda's Poetry On Wednesday prompt #3 from 'Fulbright Scholars' Birthday Letters by Ted Hughes. Curious? Visit]


  1. Trevor was indeed fortunate in finding his true love at twenty.Very clever use of poetic forms to describe Miss Pome,bawdy as a bar
    room limmerick.Are Spensarian sonnets surreal
    I ask to the Black Douglas heart? Miss Pommeroy is considering a canzone (difficult
    Dante rhyming scheme)for a prompt.Are you up for it Mackenzie?

  2. The Babe digs the Dude. Poetic justice is alive and well.

  3. Idylls of the Dude. yup

  4. Emmmm... up for it is a relative thing. I'm willing to try most anything that doesn't cause exquisite pain and I've enjoyed trying everything you've prompted. But don't expect grand results on a canzone, since I'm a free verse kind of guy. I find most any structure, including any of the sonnet forms, as restrictive. The only time I've been lured out of the cave to do one was for Sarah Palin last winter, and she deserved every line. Up for it? For you, aye!

  5. Not sure if the earlier dispatches got there - our part of the world lost power for 2+ hours tonight. We're hoping the love takes for Trev. We have no idea about sonnets since we've only written one, and only to Sarah Palin, and only as a joke. A Canzone? We avoid forms (as a free verse kind of guy) but accept everything you've prompted as worthy of our best effort. Ask and we will attempt...

  6. JD, you have written a fantastic poem, that captures all the euphoria of first love, when the lovers can talk of nothing else. The use of the poetic metaphors make this a real poet's poem, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

    I'm off now to look up Canzone - I love formal poems and haven't written many lately...

  7. Canzone:

    hmmm, that'll keep me quiet for a bit: 65 lines with such a complex end word order! I shouldn't be scared, I've written lots of sestinas, but I am. Watch this space.

  8. JDM,
    Love what you did here with this prompt. It does speak of new love quite well. I don't know what a canzone either. Off to google it.

  9. Love the "Dude" and all clever ways you work in the various poetic forms. A hipster's version of "shall I compare thee to a summer day" perhaps? :)

  10. Yeah, love the way you wrote this!

  11. I'm a bit late to the party, JD, but loved what you have written here - especially "bawdy as a barroom Limerick" !! What you may (think) you lack in composing poetic forms is certainly made up for by your knowledge of them!

  12. Another good one, JD! Love the lines about everyone being "dude," except the parents! (My teenage son reminds me all the time how uncool I am, so I relate since everyone--including his friends' parents--is cool, except for me.) Great job integrating the poetic forms.

  13. Thanks for calling by.Say hello to Trevor. I miss him.His girl was badly injured in a parachute jump. Roman candle they call it (when chute doesn't open)No one is sure if she will make it...